Monster Complaints

“AAARRG!  Me used to pester little Nico all night long!  Now me can’t even get in door without wanting to give kids hugs!  They spray something that smells so yucky!  Make my eyes and nose burn and make me want to do nice things!  No more going back to that house.”   –Zombie, Redwood City, CA

 

“Oh!  The horror!  When I tried to fly into Grace’s window this evening I smelled some ghastly odor worse than garlic!  And then all of a sudden, instead of wanting a bite to eat, I just wanted to cuddle up with a stuffed animal and read Grace a bedtime book!  What is a thirsty vampire to do?  After discussing the situation with other ghouls, it turns out that they’ve been getting potions from a voodoo priestess that turn monsters into friends!  Darn that Miss Stephanie!  Darn her to heck!”   –Vampire, Estes Park, CO

 

“On the last full moon I went to my usual haunt to get some screams, but this kid Owen must have put some magic spell around his house because as soon as I got near the window of his room I turned from a fierce werewolf into a nothing more than a cute, cuddly wolf cub!  No more big fangs or sharp claws!  I wouldn’t even bother going to his house anymore.  And it used to be such a howling good time.”  –Werewolf, Santa Cruz, CA